幽默簡(jiǎn)單的爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話
在交際場(chǎng)合,能恰到好處地講個(gè)笑話或自創(chuàng)一個(gè)幽默,不僅可以體現(xiàn)自己的語(yǔ)言水平,還可以提升個(gè)人魅力。小編精心收集了關(guān)于簡(jiǎn)單的爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話，供大家欣賞學(xué)習(xí)!
關(guān)于簡(jiǎn)單的爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話：Pyramid Of Jokes
There was 3 girls, a blonde, a brunette, and a red head. and they found a pyramid. they read a tablet that said "this is the pyramid of 100 steps. if you
get to the top of it, you will get what you've wanted all your life. but be warned, every 5 steps a person will pop out and tell a joke, and if you laugh, you can never try again."
so the brunette gets to the 5th step and laughs, so she could never try again.
the red head got to the 20th step and laughed, so she could never try again.
then the blonde got to the 99th step and laughed. then the guy who was going to tell the joke said "why did you laugh, i didnt tell the joke yet." then the blonde said "i know, i laughed because i just got the first joke!"
關(guān)于簡(jiǎn)單的爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話：Blonde Bar
A blind man enters a Ladies bar by mistake. He finds his way to a barstool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender: "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says: "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is just fair - giving that you are blind - that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a 6 feet tall, 160 LB. blonde
woman with a black belt in Karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is
blonde and is a proffesional
weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is a blonde
and is a proffesional wretler.
Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head and declares: "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times".
關(guān)于簡(jiǎn)單的爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話：A Wild Horse Ride
A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse, unassisted, and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallopsalong at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle.
In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway.
The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider.Finally, giving up herfrail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety.
Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup, she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves. As her head is struck against the ground over and over. As her head isbattered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune... Frank, the Walmart greeter, sees her dilemma and unplugs the horse.
關(guān)于簡(jiǎn)單的爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話：Keeping A Secret
At a dinner party, several of the guests were arguing whether men or women were more trustworthy. No woman, said one man, scornfully, can keep a secret.
I dont know about that, answered a blonde woman guest. I have kept my age a secret since I was twenty-one.
Youll let it out some day, the man insisted.
I hardly think so responded the blonde lady. When a woman has kept a secret for twenty-seven years, she can keep it forever.
關(guān)于簡(jiǎn)單的爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話：Going Fishing
A guy took his blonde girlfriend on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment: the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. They spend a fortune.
The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, the guy catches a fish.
As they're driving home they're really depressed. The guy turns to his girlfriend ans says, "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred dollars?"
The girlfriend says, "Wow! It's a good thing we didn't catch any more!"1、有位先生有口吃的毛病,一天他到鳥(niǎo)店去買鸚鵡。他問(wèn)店主:“這……鸚……鸚鵡……會(huì)……會(huì)說(shuō)……說(shuō)話嗎?” “會(huì)說(shuō)話,只要人教的都能學(xué)會(huì)。” 于是這位先生高高興興地付了錢,帶著鸚鵡回家了。 可是過(guò)了幾天, 他到店里要求退貨。 他對(duì)店主抱怨道:“這……這……鳥(niǎo)……是……是……個(gè)……結(jié)巴”
2、電視里正在轉(zhuǎn)播一場(chǎng)高水平的橄欖球賽,瑪麗大嬸敲了敲鄰居家的門。 “我能到你們家里來(lái)看電視嗎?” “當(dāng)然可以,快請(qǐng)進(jìn)吧!,您家里的.電視怎么了?” “誰(shuí)知道怎么搞的,調(diào)了半天也不行,球賽中的那個(gè)球始終是扁的。”
3、一個(gè)女傭蹲在井邊剝鱔魚皮,一位紳士從旁邊路過(guò),他看了看說(shuō)道:“啊,這是多么殘忍。這些可憐的小動(dòng)物的皮竟然被你剝掉! ” 女傭抬頭看了看說(shuō): “先生,這些小動(dòng)物是怪可憐的。在餐桌上,很多人根本就不知道它原來(lái)還帶著皮。”
4、一工人肚子疼,醫(yī)務(wù)室給他開(kāi)了病假單。他把病假單交給班長(zhǎng)后,就在車間里的板凳上躺了下來(lái)。 班長(zhǎng)見(jiàn)了,問(wèn):“你有病怎么不回家休息?” “回去要扣獎(jiǎng)金的。” “那你躺在板凳上干什么?” “我這叫‘一不做,二不休’。”
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